Resistance does not have to be hard. Maybe your life is hard enough without taking on more, right? So take on less. Much, much less. Tricia Hersey, aka the Nap Bishop, wrote a book called Rest is Resistance: a manifesto where she argues that doing nothing is incredibly powerful. Since capitalism and patriarchy (and White supremacy) is all about getting people to work, just don’t. Hersey says that our value is not measured by what we do and that taking the time to rest, heal and think is a powerful act of resistance that can destabilize oppressive systems, especially for African American women.
The women of South Korea agree with her. In the mid-to-late 2010s, in response not only to ridiculous gender-based inequality and the expectations of women in that country, but also because a man killed a woman simply because she ignored him, women simply stopped doing what was expected of them. 4B refers to:
- No marriage to men (bihon)
- No childbirth (bichulsan)
- No dating men (biyeonae)
- No sex with men (bisekseu)
Hilariously, the government response to the 4B movement, and to the fact that South Korea has the lowest birth rate in the world, was to spend billions of dollars doubling down on patriarchal systems. It did not work. Neither did the cultural backlash or the weeping and gnashing of teeth by men who have trouble finding a free maid/sex slave/baby maker (Corxet Solé, n.d.).
An older example comes from Iceland, when, in 1975, the women of Iceland did nothing except hang out with each other for an entire day. Around 90 per cent of Iceland’s women responded to the call from women’s rights organization to just not do anything. Men had to pick up the slack for all the domestic duties, including child care, while the women did nothing or rallied together. This is a big deal because this organizational feat was achieved long before social media was available. But do not get too excited…while the women of Iceland did achieve legislative entrenchment of workplace equality, not much changed. This is why simply refusing to get into domestic servitude in the first place is becoming more popular for women all over the world (Swarthmore College, (n.d.).
There is a backlash, and it takes the same old same old form. In no particular order, shame, dehumanize and punish single women (Harris, 2024).
Men also try to ensure that women have no way to control the number of children we have. Men know that mothers will do just about anything to improve the situation of our children. Gerda Lerner and Maria Mies both pointed out that the threat of violence against their children led enslaved mothers to behave in ways that suited their captors. Where once they might have chosen violence, escape or suicide, enslaved mothers did whatever was necessary of their children. Powerful women often comply with patriarchy, and reproduce it, because it gives their children a better chance. And, of course, once we have a child with a man, we will never completely escape him (if he knows about it).
There is an easy way to avoid all this. Very easy. Have a very serious conversation with your estrogen supply when it starts telling you how cute babies are, develop a close relationship with an electronic dating option (or several), and lie around with your pals eating chocolate.
Al Jazeera. (2024, November 9). What is the 4B feminist movement from S Korea that’s taking off in the US. Al Jazeera. Retrieved December 9, 2024.
Corxet Solé, L. (n.d.). South Korea’s 4B movement: How patriarchy undermines demographic security. The Security Distillery. https://thesecuritydistillery.org/all-articles/south-koreas-4b-movement-how-patriarchy-undermines-demographic-security
Harris, R. (2024, July 29). JD Vance’s ‘childless cat lady’ history. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2024/07/29/nx-s1-5055616/jd-vance-childless-cat-lady-history
Hersey, T. (2022). Rest is resistance: A manifesto [Audiobook]. Little, Brown Spark.
Lerner, G. (1987). The creation of patriarchy. Oxford University Press. [Kindle edition]Mies, M. (1998). Patriarchy and accumulation on a world scale: Women in the international division of labor. Zed Books.
Mies, M. (1998). Patriarchy and accumulation on a world scale: Women in the international division of labor. Zed Books.
Swarthmore College. (n.d.). Icelandic women strike for economic and social equality, 1975. National Vision Database. https://nvdatabase.swarthmore.edu/content/icelandic-women-strike-economic-and-social-equality-1975
Unlearning Patriarchy 